hating everything.

i hate.
everything.
at this moment.

you know that funny
well not funny, wrong word.
well anyway,
you know when you just feel so bad?

i don't know..
I feel ...
depressed.
Like depths of despair.
Not for any particular reason.
Just one of those teenage moods that adults like to talk about as if they have never gone through them.

Life should be perfect.
My birthday is in a few days.
My 16th is joint with one of my best friends, just the way I've always dreamed it.
My dress is quite nice, i think. :)
My best friend who lives in another state is going to be in this house in exactly a week.
My other two best friends.. our friendship is stronger than ever before, even after I thought it could never be repaired.

Yet...
it feels like everything sucks.

because of those people.
The ones who take my esteem down with them.
The ones who take pieces of me and leave me feeling empty.

I have a confession.

I would like you out of my life.
Because I know it is better for my mental health if you leave.
.
Times change.
and then,
you realise,
it's not worth it.
and never was.

No more ridiculously late nights for me.
I feel depresso.