my double-faceted friendship :((((

I absolutely hate hate hate being two-faced.

Most of the time, if I don't like you, you are bound to know hahaa. I'd rather be a b*tch than two-faced.

However, there are certain... circumstances... in which there is no other option.

AND I HATE IT.

This is whyyyyy i don't want to accompany you, parents, when you go to your biffles' houses.

So what that they have a daughter my age?
It doesn't mean we are going to be biffles as well.

My parents (yeah thanks, dad) casually mention, "So where are your kids? Haven't seen them in a while".
The biffle lady immediately rushes to call in her children.

Andthenwe'restuckawkwardlysittingsidebysideonhercouch,forcedtomakepoliteconversation.

"Hi hun! Haven't spoken to you in ages! How's school?"
The smile is too wide, the eyes too bright with delight to see my timid face.
Don't pretend you're delighted to see me. -.-
In fact, I don't remember the last time we ever voluntarily had a conversation. I mean, other than random meetings like this, where our parents are having a ball and we're forced to converse.
"Heyy! Yeah, it's been a while!" I smile back, kind of gingerly.
.... *cue silence*....
"So what did you get up to today?" I say, making desperate efforts for my parents' sake.
"Oh, just went shopping, bought a dress!"
"Oooooh let's see!"
It's just standard that girls get excited over shopping. It's the easy conversation turner.
"Aww love, it's in my room. You'll see pics soon anyway though!" For extra effect, she strokes my arm in that "daaaaarling I love you completely though you're under me on the social ladder" manner.
"Ahhkay," I smile back.
"Oh, you don't have facebook, do you?"
"Nup."
"awwww."
*silence*
She continues. "Yeah, so many parties, I've been to none though! I've been studying! this is the first I'm going to for the year. The sacrifices I have to make for education, you know?"
I nod, maintaining my friendly gaze and half-smile. I don't mention that I have only been invited to one party the entire year and I did go to that one. In this game, I'm the nerdy one.

And of course, me, being naiive and easy-going, start to relax into the conversation after a few minutes and stop being fake. She's not actually a bad person, we could be friends!
Of course, before we leave the house, there is that final reminder that we will never be friends.
"Alright, bye darling!" She says, kissing the air next to my cheek. "Good luck for vce!"

Yeah. I don't know. To me, this air-kissing fluff is extra fluffy when it comes from someone who is the same nash as me; nowhere in our culture is this air-kissing pescribed. It's just something that we .... caught onto, I guess. It's cute when it's wogs (because IT IS A CULTURAL THING FOR THEM) but I don't know why we've started; we've kind of turned it into a gesture of "eeew I don't want to touch you so I'll kiss the air instead."
Well, whatever. I certainly didn't kiss the air back for her.

We got into the car and Mum says, "See, you guys are like best friends!"
My sister laughed even before I did.
"She's putting on an act," she said to Mum.
And this 11 year old had better perspective on the world than any of us.

Also, I know that whenever I let out to a fellow year 12 that I didn't do well on the chem exam, I get that look of sympathy and "you can do better on the next!" but of course, I'm seemingly out of the race. :) that's all I have to say about that. ;)

This entry has been a rant/bitch.
what
have
i
become.

It's only for one year, Izzletay. Then you can be whatever you want.