old perspectives at a new angle.

It's amazing how people can make you see things from different angles, in ways you would never imagine.

Since I turned 13, life seems rocky. So complex, so hard to figure out, so up/down.

And soon I will be 16.
Or as one person likes to point out (not mentioning any names..), 'rootable'. O.o LOL. But that's the crazy vulgar insanity speaking from him/her. I love this person a lot, ;)
Yes,
Did you know,
That the legal age for sex is 16?
I think this is STUPID.
BECAUSE,
it is encouraging sex at a young age.
And also, it is putting pedophiles at an advantage.
Think about this;
Today I can go on a tram and a pedophile can ask me weird questions and it is illegal. IN THREE DAYS, a pedophile can ask me for sex and it will be perfectly okay. A sixteen to seventeen year old has no protection from pedophiles.
Because apparently 16 is old enough?

What is this world coming to? :S

Anyway, aside from that,
After two gloomy days,
Haloman steps in and gives me a new perspective. A new viewpoint.
It basically goes like this: (in my words)
1. The past sucks, get on with it.
2. Everyone sucks, get over it.
3. School sucks, get ontop of it.
4. Girls suck.
So basically, he says:
'suck it up.'

Coz there are people dying.
And all I care about is whether everyone likes me, whether people are talking behind my back, whether my friendships are improving, whether I'm not ugly, whether my party will work out, whether 8kays will get to melbourne alive and whether I am a sad single.
Honestly.

I AM PATHETIC.

GROW UP, I need to tell myself.
I have sooo much.
Much more than the starving children in third world countries.

So I need to stop drawing tiny little complications out and kneeding them till I have a complete overanalysis of every possible outcome.
I also need to get back to 3 minute showers (maybe 5 hehe, I am older now) and do more charity work.

I am proud of myself for one thing I did this week though.
Remember that renewed old ambition post about the person I wanted to beat?
I was talking to that person and found out that as he was drowning in homework, he had started to give up.
And I motivated him.
And we are going to support each other through VCE.
Actually all I want now if to see him beat me. Because he deserves to. He is smarter than me. I will work my butt off to try to get anywhere near him though.
But when he was struggling, I could have kicked him down. I COULD have told him I'd given up too.
But i hate people who do that. I'm not the type to play whatever dirty trick to get to the finish line.
Which is why I suck as a competitor.
Anyway, I told him I would support him and make sure he was on track, though I wanted to beat him originally.
So yeah. :)
I know I will not go wrong in life because I am a good-hearted person. That's what mother tells me. :)
Despite previous mistakes that make the blood in my veins shake.
But also, VCE.
I'm not doing it for my parents.
I'm not doing it for my friends.
I'm not doing it for myself.
What motivates me to study is the fact that by the end of a four year degree, I will be helping a group of people who need the help urgently and not everyone wants to take on this job. I will be seeing eyes light up as people go through treatment and are given the chance to walk and function properly again- basic rights everyone should have. I will be building relationships so strong with my patients that they will feel as grateful for my help as I have felt for my orthotist.
So yeah,
I don't study coz i love studying.
I DON'T study to please anyone.
I DON'T study to get into uni and build my snobby social status in our cultural group where doctors and lawyers are the professions to achieve.
I study to help save lives.
And that is what will get me through. :)
For the first time in a while, I have complete confidence in myself. And you should too :)

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