I'm happy AGAIN! :)

Of course I know this happiness is impermanent, and for sure by tomorrow night, I'll be wanting to give up again because I have a lot of work to do which I haven't done,
But in order to keep myself sane, I need to start celebrating the small things.
And the cause for celebration today is being able to do more than 75% of the specialist homework for the first time in probably 2 weeks.
I saw EZ today, which I was quite happy about! Haven't seen him in a while :)

Lol is it weird that I'm feeling nostalgic about leaving mercy already?
All the hatred that I harboured towards my school for the past 6 years is actually starting to fade away.... Leaving school, into the real world.
It's actually starting to seem more daunting.
Coz in the real world, I can't stuff up as much.
I can't be hitting on girls as much as I do at school too lol ;D It's hard to contain myself when girls like cookie, dramaqueen, lilwiseone and gossamer are around (though gossamer doesn't even go to my school. she has a cool little category of her own).

What else? Alright, time for a list:
Things I need to stop doing before I start uni (that we're used to because of the all girl environment)

1. Telling everyone about my crushes. HONESTLY what was I thinking in year 10? I blush worse than I used to back then when a random person mentions my "tool" -.- and now my blushing is out of pure shame! Pah that was like the turning point of my crushing. I don't really think I'm prone to crushes at all anymore. 1 mistake is more than enough. -.-
Plus, even people that I didn't sit with in year 10 seem to know about him. goodness gracious.

2. Stop confiding in boys so much - actually, I think I've already stopped doing this. Being occupied is good, and being off facebook is even better.

3. Having "hey, let's just not do my eyebrows till the next social event" months.

4. Laughing too much, to the point that I can't breathe. Nearly dying in public is not generally acceptable.

5. Speaking of unacceptable public behaviour, I have a MAMMOTH list of accumulated weird things I've been doing naturally during train rides; (Don't be too disgusted :$)
a) utilising my new phone to conduct imaginary conversations to classmates, where I'm basically reciting my chemistry notes, pretending to help them. See, the advantage in our headphone generation is that you can talk to yourself and it's completely fine. :D But, I know that if I do this too often, people will come to terms with the fact that I seem like a mad person.
b) taking my shoes off - it's okay, I don't put my feet on seats/ in people's laps/ on the floor, I just put them on top of my shoes. I need to buy comfier shoes - even my flats hurt. Like my feet aren't tortured enough coz of pointe.
c) eating on trains - yeah, I really don't care. :D I'm always hungry.
d) taking random videos of crap that mildly interests me... not for any particular purpose of course....
e) checking myself out in the windows when we go through the city loop - I know, it's an awful habit. And embarrassing too.
f) doing homework casually on trains... calculator in lap, textbook on seat next to me, workbook in my hands, I use train time to do methods homework occasionally.
yeah, that's about all I did today. XD

6. I NEED TO GET RID OF MY EMBARRASSING EMAIL ADDRESSES. BOTH OF THEM. including this one, which is less embarrassing, but still up there.

7. Talking freely of my disgusting dreams. And dreams of me dying.

In short, I guess in my head, I reckon that starting uni means caring more about how people judge me.

in reality, I know that nothing will change because;
a) I'm not really all that keen to attract superficial friends who I can't relax and be myself around
b) I can't dance. I have dancer syndrome (aka struggles in a "freestyle dance" environment). Especially after the formal, I have developed a fear of dancing in public.
c) I'm too lazy.

Which also explains the reason why I am glad no one invites me to parties.... actually lol, I don't think I've been to a single party this year. XD