hello world ;) nanananananaa .... thank you world!

So it's been a little while since I last updated, I think.

So I'm sitting here, in my computer chair, practice exams left right and centre with no pen to paper (or well.... hardly), moaning over my loss lol (well, technically not a loss, because I never had it), and wishing atekays was here. :(

But I am happy!

A few days ago, I was ecstatic. Elated. I kind of thrive on being fouetted sometimes.
But every uphill has a downhill. Yay!
So you might think that I sunk deeper into depression, but no, I didn't!

To be honest, as much as there are times this year when I think I'm going to die because I've done nothing and this is year 12 and what am i doing with my life??? DD: moments, um... I actually genuinely forgot what I was leading towards.

Anyway, it feels normal to be anxious, depressed, sad, worried, self-pitying these days.

Which makes me also think,
"Yay for next year. -.- a  whole new fishbowl where I will be easily fall under the spell of many other hotties. *sigh*"

Tbh, I thought i'd left that stage of my life behind. I thought I was past it and mature.
but, no, it's just me, behind these new crusty layers of arrogance and feigned over-confidence and ambitiousness.

Anyway, this is a bit of a depresso revealing-too-much of my personal life entry. Please don't ask if you don't know already.

I would also like to say thank you to lotza laughs (who will not read this blog, because how embarrassing, im not linking it back to her again.)
Lotza has always been there for me. She's like that older sister character that I wish I had. :D
And her life.... is kind of like mine but fast forwarded and played from a later spot? hahaha. Well, lol, if only my life spanned out that perfect. But then again, you know me, there is nothing I love more than imperfection,  because imperfection makes us all human.

Wah my blog is a little cryptic sometimes.

And my other friend, gossamer too, has been there for me since our friendship began. I do love her :) I'm not linking this to her either, she's probably buried somewhere deep in study right now. I really hope she aces everything.

And of course, there are so many others that I want to thank (lol I sound like I'm going to die or something), but there is a time and place... for one more sweet embrace... i mean there is a time and place for everything.

So hey hello and thank you world,
This has been another... turning point of my life, I guess.

I have learnt many things. If only I knew how much I have changed.
I have to say, part of me is going to miss the all girl environment. D: LOL.

Pssh you need a few "downs" to appreciate the ups of life. :D
And the sooner i break down this "ideal", the better.
Lotza is right, I have been using certain things to distract me and turn me away from the hard cold truth of the matter;
I have 4 weeks to prepare myself for the worst of high school.