Naturally untalented sucks.

GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAR.

V.
C.
E.

Torture device the government invented.

I'm trying to jump through every hoop of fire the Department of Education is throwing coldly at me.

It pisses me off sometimes.

I work hard.

There's always room for improvement of course,
but I know I do work.

HOWEVER,
Every time I get a mark back I always face that slight disappointment and think,


I could have done better.

Even when I study as hard as I can (like for my 3/4 subject), I end up with marks lower than I want.

I have high expectations for myself.
Higher than my intelligence permits.
But there's always that spark of hope within me that I will miraculously end up improving.
Otherwise I wouldn't go on.

I know if I told people this kind of thing, they'd think I was complaining about nothing or I'd just be pissing them off,

but honestly,
I'm really disappointed in myself sometimes.
I dread getting marks back.
And everytime I get a sac mark back, I feel like giving up.
And there is that fear in me that I will not be able to pass VCE.

I hate getting marks lower than I expect.
But there were only about two tests that I got back this year that I was actually pleased with.
The standards are getting higher and higher.
A+s have never been harder to earn.
And it's not enough just to want it and aim for it and work your bum off.

Coz we're at that point where it's turning into:
"A+ students are usually naturally talented so don't expect it"
.
.
.
My english teacher literally said that at the start of the year. And i was like "pshhh.."
But now I understand the sad truth.

Life is unfair.
A+ students are the ones who sit at the back of the class, never concentrate but easily nail 98.
NOT MENTIONING ANY NAMES ;) (HALOMAN)

Then you get people like me,
who are working and trying to discipline and have high aims,
go to school 6 days a week (7 from next semester)
who aren't going to get A+s coz those naturally talented are stealing them away.
Stupid bell curve marking. -.-

Victorian school system is SCREWED.
Coz ultimately your marks are affected by your GAT.
 AKA NATURAL TALENT.