Clingy?

Being a person who needs people.

Being the person who initiates contact,

Being the person who makes an effort to keep in touch, 

Being the person who develops the emotional attachment,

Being the person who trusts too much and hurts too often.

Being the girl who silently observes everything but seems to notice nothing,

"seems" to.

Being a person who sometimes pretends to be blonde or blind to your embarrassment to save you the shame.

I'm the friend who will be there if you need me.

I'm also the person who ignores a person I don't want to restart a friendship with because I know it won't be at the place where we left off ...as I accidentally replaced her. :S In all honesty, though it's slack and mean.

I'm also the person who pretends to be happy even when I'm not.

I'm the girl who is oppressed by her studies, with my goals so close yet so far, friends so accessible but kind of like the devil's temptation at the moment.

I'm also the person who is told not to develop attachment with anyone in particular, because it only leads to pain.

But 

I 

do

anyway.

And now it's an addiction of attachment, of needing people around, of needing friendship support networks.

I've turned .... clingy.

Ick. Clingy. Yucky word connotating a stalkerish girlfriend or something. :D

Thing with me is, I'm either crazy reliant on everyone,

or reliant on no one, not even my parents.

I don't know if any of you remember me in year seven, or first semester of year ten,

I was isolated completely. I turned to studies and needed no friends really. I didn't trust anyone.

I don't want to go back to that.

I just can't get a balance.

It's like, 

I'm someone who needs no one,

but also need everyone at the same time.

I just don't know how to be normal. ;)