post0exams ... and i miss everyone :(

chemchemchemchemchem.......

Time to get it out, then never again.

i screwed up.
I didnt study,
i attempted to cram, but i am really not capable of cramming.
i did boundless practice exams and picked up nothing from them.

I'm glad I had a midyear because I can learn from my mistakes. :)

I hate vce.

I hate the fact that we are compared to everyone else us,
and i hate the fact that I can't be happy with Cs though I don't need much more to get into my course.

I just backspaced what I typed because I have realised I need to change my outlook.

I need to keep in mind that the reason I want to pass vce is to get into prosthetics and orthotics and devote my life to altruism. Yes.

I hate competition.
It's inevitable and I have risen to the challenge, I guess.

I don't want this.

I don't want to do this anymore.

But I must.

I am not one of those people who does nothing and aces things.
(lol well maybe just methods kml (subject i detest the most as well -.-  gaaarrr).)
I need to study smarter.

I want an atar that I won't look back on and feel like today,

Oh my god if today was results day,
i don't even know what i'd do.

Anyway I am happy for everyone who aced chem today :) because most of the state probably did try harder than I did and study harder and they deserve it :)

I hate that I wish I could have done better in the exam when I should have expected it for the lack of commitment I showed the last few weeks.

I need to delve back into my nerd self.
And stop being "social" to this extent.
There is plenty of time for that at uni.
Lol jks I'll probably be the biggest nerd at uni. :)



hopefully I get into uni.

the nicest thing I got todayy was this simple text:
"dont worry... we still got this.. :D"
This guy is so cute :) Thank you for cheering me up, though obviously you don't read my blog because I've never linked it to you.

It's nice to talk to someone who isn't obsessed with perfectionism.
As I have become, as the majority of my friends are (whom I do love),
It's nice to look back at myself and think,
"so I didn't do that well. I still deserve to be congratulated for the effort that I did put in."
Coz obviously I am the most harsh judge of myself,
And it's simple but nice. :)

So at the end of the year, when I open up my C or D grade,
I want to look at it and think about how far I've come since then. :)

I'm sorry if I seem more antisocial now,
But i need to make some changes in my work ethic if I want to get anywhere.

And lastly, I would like to extend a thank you to gossamer and laseredd and Disafear, who have helped me study for chem. :) You could not have done a better job, I hope you all get A+s and succeed in whatever you commit yourself to, because you are good people who deserves the best future possible. :)

In other news, pedo alert!
Young women such as myself have been warned to carry pepper spray (or deodorant) when travelling on trams alone. Also,
IT WOULD GREATLY HELP NOT TO SIT DOWN TO LUNCH WITH A PEDOPHILE.
I love you DQ ;D
<3
And yet she doesn't have lunch with me. WHAT IS THIS? ;P surely i'm not thaaat bad. hahaa
P.s. (stick to italians.... please? for your sake?)

I haven't actually mentioned DQ on here in a while.
She's still around, of course.
I kind of miss her company.

I kind of miss everyone actually. :\

not to mention partyanimal, whose number I lost so now I can't even text her to say hello. :( its been a yeeeaaarrr.
This holiday, I shall make my way to broady just to see her... though I despise going there coz of .... yeah. Other prior failures of my life.

mehehe ;) now I'm just writing crap.
I hope no one reads this.
XD

Loving life and all :)

Now I must go and send haloman a photo of my dress LOL. :D