I lack competitiveness - i don't really like competition at all.
I feel guilty for being competitive.
I keep thinking 'atar only matters for a month and i don't need a high atar anyway'
I lack the resilience.
I am tired by 11 now and i don't get up in the mornings either.
I am wasting my time studying for italian - the subject most controlled by petty factors such as possible prejudice or my ability to hear and interpret on the day of the exam,
I am still not prepared for italian and I am freaking out.
*sigh*
I have been distracted. Not so much any more.
But that's it. If i don't change things now, i am not going to get 75 for my course.
And please don't tell me otherwise.
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